Holiday Self-Care & Coping with Burnout: Prioritizing Rest and Recovery During Busy Times

The holiday season can feel like a whirlwind of expectations, social obligations, and sensory overload—especially for neurodivergent adults. Add in the pressures of navigating family dynamics, managing your own needs, and balancing work or school, and it’s no wonder many of us feel burned out before we even ring in the new year.

Here’s the thing: burnout isn’t just about being “tired.” For neurodivergent people, it often involves emotional exhaustion, shutdowns, difficulty processing, or even physical symptoms like headaches, nausea, or heightened sensory sensitivities. Trauma and long-standing ableist conditioning can also exacerbate burnout by making rest feel “lazy” or guilt-inducing. Let’s rewrite that script together.

This blog post offers actionable, trauma-informed self-care strategies to help you prioritize rest and recovery, reclaim your energy, and truly enjoy the holidays on your terms.

1. Acknowledge and Validate Your Needs

First, let’s make this clear: Your needs are valid, even if they don’t align with societal expectations. Many neurodivergent people experience heightened sensory sensitivity, social fatigue, or a need for structured downtime. If this resonates, give yourself permission to prioritize those needs without judgment.

Tip: Keep a "Needs Inventory." Make a quick list of what you need to feel grounded—whether that’s alone time, low-sensory environments, or predictable routines. Having it written down can remind you to check in with yourself regularly.

2. Plan for Rest Before You Need It

Waiting until you’re fully burned out to rest is like waiting until your car runs out of gas to refuel—it’s much harder to recover when you’re running on empty.

Tip: Schedule “buffer days.” If you have a big event or gathering, set aside the following day (or at least a few hours) as a time to decompress. You might use this time to nap, stim, engage in a low-energy hobby, or just exist in a quiet space.

Trauma-Informed Angle: If guilt shows up during your rest time, remind yourself that rest isn’t a reward; it’s a biological necessity. You're allowed to pause and restore without “earning” it.

3. Practice Sensory Self-Care

The holidays often come with overwhelming sensory input—bright lights, loud parties, chaotic shopping malls, and crowded spaces. This can be overstimulating for anyone, but especially for those with sensory sensitivities.

Tips for Sensory Support:

• Create a sensory kit: Include items like noise-canceling headphones, sunglasses, fidget toys, or a soothing essential oil. Keep this kit with you during outings.

• Find your sensory “reset button”: Activities like listening to white noise, wrapping up in a weighted blanket, or standing barefoot on a solid surface can help you recalibrate.

• Designate low-sensory zones: At family gatherings or parties, locate a quiet room or corner where you can retreat if needed.

4. Set (and Respect) Your Boundaries

For many neurodivergent adults, the holidays bring up obligations to see family or attend events that feel more draining than joyful. Learning to set boundaries is a powerful act of self-care.

Practical Boundary Tips:

• Script your “no” responses: Prepare phrases like “I can’t make it, but I hope you have a wonderful time,” or “I’ll join for dinner, but I’ll be heading home afterward.”

• Limit your time commitments: Instead of attending the full 5-hour event, decide on a shorter timeframe that feels manageable.

• Tag a buddy: If you're attending an event, bring along a supportive friend or partner who can help you navigate challenging interactions.

Trauma-Informed Note: If saying “no” feels scary due to past experiences, start with small, low-stakes boundaries. Build your confidence over time, and remind yourself that boundaries are a way to protect your well-being, not a rejection of others.

5. Customize Your Self-Care Toolkit

Self-care isn’t one-size-fits-all, so it’s important to identify practices that work for you.

Ideas to Try:

• Regulate your nervous system: Engage in grounding techniques like deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or tapping (EFT).

• Move your body, your way: Dance in your room, go for a slow walk, or stretch—whatever feels good to you. Movement can help release stress.

• Digital decompression: Take intentional breaks from your phone or email to avoid holiday overload.

• Restorative hobbies: Paint, knit, bake, write, play video games—any activity that feels restorative and not tied to productivity.

6. Reframe Holiday Expectations

Society often pressures us to “do it all” during the holidays—cook the perfect meal, find the perfect gifts, attend every party, etc. But neurodivergent adults often thrive when they simplify and focus on what’s genuinely meaningful.

Reframe: Instead of “I need to do everything,” ask yourself, “What traditions or activities bring me joy, and what can I let go of this year?”

Example: If cooking a big holiday meal is stressful, consider ordering takeout or hosting a potluck where guests bring a dish. If gift shopping is overwhelming, try giving homemade or digital gifts instead.

7. Build a Support System

Isolation can amplify stress and burnout, but finding supportive people can make the holidays feel less daunting.

Ideas to Build Connection:

• Join online communities for neurodivergent individuals. Many host virtual holiday meetups or discussions.

• Create your own “chosen family” holiday traditions with friends or like-minded people.

• Practice mutual support: If you have a neurodivergent friend who’s also struggling, check in on each other or plan a low-key hangout.

Trauma-Informed Reminder: If family gatherings are triggering or unsafe, it’s okay to opt out. You don’t owe anyone access to your time or presence, especially at the expense of your mental health.

8. Give Yourself Grace

Lastly, be gentle with yourself. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, and it’s okay to need extra support this time of year. You’re doing your best in a world that isn’t always built for your needs—and that’s worth celebrating.

Conclusion

This holiday season, let’s redefine success as prioritizing your well-being, honoring your needs, and showing up as authentically as you can. Burnout doesn’t have to dominate your holidays. With thoughtful planning, sensory self-care, and strong boundaries, you can navigate the season in a way that feels less overwhelming and more joyful.

Here’s to resting unapologetically and thriving on your own terms—cheers!